Thursday, October 22, 2009

This has been a bumpy month.

2 weeks ago, my sweet, wonderful service dog, Taylor, passed away. Obviously, I've been taking this pretty hard. I didn't lose a pet, I lost a friend. A family member. A body part. At night, when Matt's asleep and I'm sitting up alone until 2am, I can't help it - the tears just flow. The logical part of me feels like "hey, its been two weeks. You know it was best for her so get over it" -- but I can't. Two weeks later, and my heart still aches. Everything hurts. I saw a Golden Retriever puppy on the corner today, I cried. I wanted to update my Facebook profile to my cool Jack-O-Lantern, but that would have meant taking down the picture of Taylor and I. I wept. I told my brother to give my mom a big hug when he arrives in Michigan in the morning - tomorrow is her birthday, after all - and THAT made me cry, because right now, I just feel like I need a hug, and I need my mom. Mom, who had to make the decision to have Taylor put down. Mom, who had to break the awful news to me.

Taylor had been living with my mom in Michigan for just over 2 years now, and in 2 years, I'd seen her twice. Matt hadn't seen her at all. She was to come back to Arizona this winter with my mom. A part of me was, again, scared to see her, knowing she was getting old and her health wasn't the greatest, but I was so looking forward to having her home, laying on my feet, forcing her head under my elbow so that my arm was around her. Absentmindedly petting her velvety soft ears.

And I don't get to. I don't get to do any of that again. I don't want another dog. I want MY dog, and I can't have my dog.

I think the extra hard part is that I'm alone a LOT lately. Matt working his normal hours, but school and homework keep him pretty occupied. Last weekend, he was gone for 9 hours filming with a classmate - "probably the only film I'll get to work on at all this school year, so I really want to be on set", so after being home alone the whole work-week, I spent the better part of the weekend alone too. This weekend, we'd planned to attend a small-ish Halloween party. We went last year and had a great time - or, so I'm told, there were a few too many caramel apple martinis passed my direction...but another classmate has invited us to the premiere of his film, another one Matt worked on over the summer, and it is showing as part of a HUGE industry Halloween party. Great networking opportunities for Matt. Huge crowds. Very few people I'll know or have anything in common with, and I hate big big parties and crowds. I'm really not looking forward to it.

I have very few real friends here in AZ after 2 years. One is moving back to Illinois next week. One has a huge group of friends and activities that keep her very busy. A best friend from Texas lives in Tucson, but is also incredibly busy, not to mention the 3 hour distance between us...

Experiencing the loss of Taylor makes me realize how much I really need my friends and family. People who understand what she meant, who'll sit with me and cry with me and just help me get it all out. These little spurts of tears and grief every night aren't helping, and words, though cathartic, are no substitute.

Friday, September 4, 2009

In a fit of frustration...

I was thisclose, moments ago, to clicking the "delete blog" button.

I now work from home as a Special Agent for kgb_ (! Text us sometime!). Matt's in school again, but since I'm working at home, I have even LESS to if I post, it'll probably still be along the "stuff I did" lines - because at the very least, they kept ME entertained to rewrite them..

but for the moment, i won't delete UnSingle...I'll just let it sit here, as bored as I am ;)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Other Terrible Date

Luckily for me, I met Matt at the end of 1997, so after the Terrible Date you've just read, I didn't have to endure too many more awful dates. The following Terrible Date actually happened just a few weeks earlier, at the end of August.

I don't remember how we were fixed up, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, but it was definitely a fix up. We agreed to meet at the ice rink and get a bite to eat after his shift, as a Referee for a local hockey team, was over.

I arrived at the ice rink early, the game was still going on, but during a time out or between periods or some other hockey term that I don't know, he mentioned to me that it wouldn't be long, and to just hang out. The game continued, and I sat there freezing and bored (I HATE hockey, so already, our relationship was probably doomed).

Suddenly, there was excitement on the ice. A fight broke out, and all of the refs quickly skated into the middle of it to break it up. I see my date stumble and fall among them, the fight was resolved and everyone went back to their position. Everyone except my date, who hadn't yet gotten up from the ice. The refs sped back over to help him up, and I see him clutching his hand, covered in blood.

He'd been run over. Whoops.

They pulled him off the ice, unlaced his skates and brought out his street clothes from the locker room. He turned to me, pale and bleeding and said "Uh...I don't really have anyone else here who can take me to the ER. Everyone else is still playing and I probably shouldn't wait, with my finger like this..."

So instead of a nice, quiet, get-to-know-you lunch, we ran out to my Neon and sped away for the ER. Unfortunately, I wasn't in my own town, so I had NO idea where I was going, and I hastily followed his directions, speeding through yellow lights, praying I wouldn't get a ticket, wondering if this guy was going to bleed to death or lose his finger in my car. There wasn't really much conversation going on, a little small talk here and there to make sure he hadn't passed out, but mostly, he gave directions and I followed, asking "you OK?" every few moments, between red lights.

We arrived at the hospital and I sat in the waiting room, wondering what the protocol was for waiting in the ER for the person you only met 20 minutes earlier. I certainly wasn't family, and I barely qualified as "friend". After a while, a woman walked in and said "Are you Isabella? Thank you for bringing my son to the ER". While she waited to be taken back, she said I didn't need to wait. I felt bad for leaving, but it seemed strange to stay, so I left and drove home.

Three days later, he called to thank me, and wanted to make up the date that wasn't. Now, I knew I hadn't really given him a fair shake, but I'd already decided that he really wasn't my type. Regardless, it seemed rude to say no, and I agreed to meet him for dinner. I met him at East Side Mario's (his brother dropped him off) so I knew that at the very least, dinner would be fantastic.

I felt terrible - his whole hand and forearm were covered in thick, white bandages, easily 2 inches of gauze and padding. We continued the small talk until our meals came, he told me what happened on the ice, what happened at the hospital, and how his mother was so grateful that I'd driven her darling boy to the ER... Dinner arrived, and he did most of the talking, filling me in on details of his family that went a little too far. It started out simply, telling me about his brothers and growing up, then escalated into details about his abusive father and how they all dealt with his leaving them unexpectedly. It was awkward, to say the least. He took his pain meds during dinner, I can imagine how sore he must have been, and he got a little quiet at the end of the meal, I think his medicine made him drowsy.

We finished dinner and I drove us to the mall, where we sat in a crowded theater to watch "Money Talks" (his choice, I believe). At the end of the night, I drove him home and we sat in his driveway - I was anxious to get home, he was sleepy, but anxious to tell me more about his childhood. We sat for entirely too long, and eventually, I was able to use the "I've really gotta get home before my curfew" excuse (hey, I was only 16 at the time) and really mean it. He was pleasant, and I certainly felt bad for the situation, as uncomfortable as it was for both of us. He called once or twice to chat afterward, but we never went out again...

Monday, July 6, 2009

A Time For Change

So I had surgery about a week ago - my right ovary was removed, and I've been parked at home, still on pelvic rest, recovering from having a whole body part taken out via my belly button...healing well, but still pretty sore from day to day.

My friend Savannah suggested that I update the blog while I'm stuck at home. "But", I told her, "I have absolutely, positively nothing to say." What in the world would I write about, having made only one trip out of my house in the last 10 days, and that was only to the grocery store, and it was probably too soon for that? I'd been considering shutting down the blog entirely, because there are only so many times I can post about how Matt's at school and I'm lonely and so I'm doing whatever to fill the time, and I don't have a lot of readers (but for those of you reading, HI! and Thanks!), and. . .

Today, for some reason, I remembered a terrible date I went on back when I was 17. As I was thinking about said date, the blog came to mind, and I've decided that - for at least the time being, rather than update about the things I'm doing now (which really include a whole lotta nothing lately), I'll tell stories about things I've done before. Who knows. They might just entertain someone during a lunch break.


"The Terrible Date"

In early 1998, I went to a concert at the State Theater in Detroit (Creed, I think. The tickets were free, what can I say?) with my best friend Amanda. While milling about, waiting for one of the bands to start, we met a couple of guys. We started talking, and by the end of the night, I'd hit it off with Jordan, who I thought was really cute, and he asked for my number (!). Jordan and I hung out a couple times over the next couple of months - he came with me to a family function, I went to his graduation party, hung out with a few of his friends, went swimming. Simple, simple stuff, but they were never "dates". I liked him, but there just really wasn't a heck of a lot of chemistry between us, and I think our timing was just off.

One day in the fall - late October or early November, he called me up and asked me to go to the movies with a few friends. Jordan had a date, but his buddy did not. They wanted to go to the new movie theater in Southfield, MI to see "John Carpenter's Vampires". Jordan and his date drove in one car, his friend (I can't even remember the guy's name...Mike? We'll call him "Mike", because I'm just not sure anymore. He obviously made such an impression on me) drove in his truck, and they made the drive, about 30 minutes, from Dearborn to my house in Plymouth. (why we then drove another 40 minutes to a theater in Southfield is beyond me...there were easily 10 other theaters within about half the distance!)

Before everyone arrived at my house on that damp fall evening, I sat getting ready while my older brothers wrapped up another band practice in the garage with their friends. The guys were in the living room, joking around and teasing me mercilessly. I jokingly asked Ben the Drummer if I could borrow his purple Corvette for the evening, they pretended that I had not two, but five older brothers that fully intended to harass my date. I reminded them that I'd recently given them all makeovers for the album cover, but could easily exaggerate the details about their new found love for eyeliner, foundation and jewelry...Sadly, my threats didn't work very well - as the rest of my party arrived, I opened the front door to find three of them sitting on the porch, baseball bats in hand. Groaning, I grabbed my purse and climbed in the pick up truck, hoping it wouldn't rain on my wheelchair, now sitting uncovered in the bed.

I remember that I tried to make small talk with "Mike" on the drive up, but it was awkward; he seemed to only want to discuss his ex-girlfriend. The details now are a little hazy, but he was either mad at one of Jordan's other friends that I'd met - or at Jordan himself - for "stealing" his girlfriend, and he spent pretty much the entire 40 minute drive badmouthing all three of them. This would be a fun night, I could tell already. The theater was new and crowded, but interesting, decorated with lots of old movie artifacts and posters. I seem to remember that the tiles in the floor were glittery, and Jordan's date (whose name has also escaped me...) and I thought they were pretty, and we admired the little details together, laughing nervously and waiting for the guys. Tickets were bought, sodas were filled, and we took our seats in the very front row of the theater.

I don't remember the movie at all. I don't think it was very good, and it really wasn't anything I'd wanted to see, but I'd been invited and I was looking forward to even just HAVING a date - my "love life" at the time mostly centered around chasing and being chased by the bass player in my brother's band, a scruffy-but-cute guy who was easily 10 years older than me, and so any interest on either end had to be carefully hidden. (that's an entirely different story!)

Remember when I said that Jordan and I had no chemistry? Right. If Jordan and I had no chemistry, then "Mike" and I had LESS than none. I don't recall being asked anything besides "did you want a diet coke or what?". When the 4 of us were all together, the conversations pretty much centered around people I didn't know (that's what happens when 3 out of 4 people all grew up together). When it was just "Mike" and I, we simply didn't talk, I was tired of trying to make small talk with him. The movie ended, and it was time to take me back home. It had started raining again, the roads were bad, and the 40 minute drive took an extra 20 minutes or so. During the entire sixty-minute drive back to Plymouth, "Mike" and I didn't breathe a word to each other. Nothing. Complete and utter SILENCE. I don't think he even said "goodbye" when he dropped me off! Who does that? I said "goodnight", he drove away, and I went inside, irritated, and went to bed, hoping to forget the dull, uncomfortable evening I'd just had.

Sadly, for the good times Jordan and I'd had that year, that was the last I ever saw of him. "Mike", however, I was glad to be rid of. NEXT!


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

No, I haven't fallen off the planet.

I'm here! Its been a crazy two months since I last posted! On May 10th, we were on set for 15 hours or so, but its done - Matt made a movie! As we speak, he's in class, starting the editing process on his film, "Hey Romeo".

May was unreal - we were so busy. We had doctors appointments, focus groups, meetings, concerts, movie nights, happy hours, game night, and my dad came to visit for 3 days. June started off busy too, when one of my coworkers went out of town, so I picked up extra hours at Curves. This last week, however, was a lot tougher than I'd expected, when at 2:30am on 6/9, I woke up in the most unbelievable amount of pain. A doctor visit, an ultrasound and a week later, I learned I have a mass around an ovary :( I'll be going in tomorrow for blood work, and I'll probably be scheduled for surgery next week. I'll have more details tomorrow, but for now, I'm on full pelvic rest, so I think I'm going to go back to the couch and watch Aladdin :)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

All's Quiet...

because All's EMPTY!!

Last week my brother was approved for an apartment - in the complex next door, but hey, its not IN my apartment!They are about 95% moved out as of last night, and once I make the phone call to give the go-ahead (which will be as soon as I shower this morning..) the guys will come back, finish moving AND clean the office/guest bedroom, bathroom, living room (and if I can swing it, lol, the kitchen)

In the last two weeks, I had a few major blowups. My stress level peaked, and I just couldn't take it anymore. Though I was promised in March that I'd never have to ask for help, if I didn't ask, nothing would get done. Matt and I had been so busy that we hadn't cooked in our kitchen for probably 2 weeks, yet I was loading and unloading the dishwasher, and CONSTANTLY hand washing the rest, multiple times a week (sometimes multiple times a day!) Because I couldn't really get into my office or my closet, I couldn't put ANY of my Avon stuff away, so I had a huge pile of stuff in my living room, on top of other huge piles of stuff I couldn't put away. Matt and I couldn't relax, because there was always something that needed doing - dishes, laundry, TRYING to stay organized, my brother or his friend wandering around, watching TV, coming and going. It was infinitely frustrating, and I'd had it. Thankfully, just two weeks later (a LONG two weeks...), we'll have our home back. I felt a little bad, I didn't want them to think we were kicking them out, that they weren't welcome, but this place just isn't big enough for four adults, especially when keeping house is left to only ONE of them :(

Monday, April 13, 2009

Tonight's Dinner Was Brought To You By The Letter "P"

Matt had class tonight, which means "fend for yourself".

I made pancakes. (laced with cinnamon, homemade vanilla and baby chocolate chips. In shapes like "pancake" and "X" and "M" and "O")

My brother made a pizza. Mexican, to be specific.

my kitchen was quite the random mixture of smells.


Matt came home from school and made a PB&J.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

Safeway recently had a wonderful sale on meat. One that we were too busy to take advantage of (holding auditions pretty much every night last week), but Alan & Company made worthwhile. We had two lovely steak dinners, but otherwise, have been eating out. A lot. Auditions every night will do that..

not to mention my FILTHY kitchen.

As you've probably already read my last post about the dish situation, I won't recap. (Though I will add that the floor wasn't ever mopped and the dishes that couldn't fit or can't go in the dishwasher sat in the sink for ANOTHER two days...)

Then, & Company wanted another steak. He grabbed the first pan within reach. My pizza pan. Have you ever seen a pizza pan? They're great. Nicely sized, round, nonstick. Full of holes so the crust can bake evenly.

Full of holes.

Have you ever cooked a steak? Or seen the obscene amount of juices that cook OUT of a steak?

FULL. OF. HOLES!!!!!!!

I wonder if, at this point in my story, you're cringing as much as I did when I saw the sticky, caramelized, BURNT disaster that was now my oven. But I'm a nice person. How does a nice person say "WTF WERE YOU THINKING YOU IDIOT! YOU'D BETTER CLEAN THAT %&$* UP RIGHT NOW BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND!!!!" without saying exactly that...and going batshitcrazy? I mean, for almost two weeks, I'd been too tired, too busy to cook in my own kitchen, all the while having to clean up messes in the kitchen I'm not cooking in, and now THIS?

So yesterday, after a lovely Easter brunch, I spent a few hours cleaning the oven. And I insisted later that & Company mop the floor - which, thankfully, it appeared that he had done last night.

I'm sorry if this sounds fragmented - I had to put this post on hold yesterday and have lost both my train of thought and my frustrations...

Anyway, I received the worst news on Friday afternoon. My dog Taylor has cancer. She'll be with us for a few more weeks, at best. Taylor was my service dog through Canine Companions for Independence. She was by my side for the majority of the last 10 years - LITERALLY, by my side. That was her job. I was heartbroken when I let my mom take her back to Michigan when we moved here, but I knew that it was best for her, at her age, to "retire" with a large yard and a pond she loves to swim in.

So I've been a weepy mess since Friday night. Coupled with PMS and irritations from our houseguests (shall I start the countdown until the end of the month now?), it has not been a happy weekend. Its been a rotten year for pets. First Buttons is near-death (and she's doing better, I should add, but she's still twenty..). Matt's cat Chester is a few years younger than Buttons, and is going through the same renal failure issues, but will probably go before Buttons does, and now Taylor. My heart hurts, and all I want to do is fly home to see her, but I know that I just can't handle that.

I'll post a few pictures of Taylor later.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I won't lie. I'm a little irked.

Last week, we made chili. In a massive, massive pot that is difficult for me to wash.

It sat there for A FULL WEEK, until last night, when I finally gave in and struggled to wash it (and then it sat on the counter, because I can't reach where it is stored..until I ASKED to have it put away this morning)

Alan and his friend are making dinner. It smells great, and there will be food for me too, which I appreciate, but in no less than 7 minutes, ALL of my cutting boards and non-steak knife knives were dirty. Onions, cilantro and stuff all over the kitchen floor, and I'm out of tin foil, which I bought just two weeks ago, and an expensive bottle of olive oil that was pretty new too.

If this kitchen is a disaster area when I get up in the morning, I am going to flip. I'm PMSing, and I'm irritated as fuck.


Thank heavens, no heads will roll. Adamo loaded the dishwasher, washed ALL of the counters, and said he intends to mop the floor when we've gone to bed.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Feeling just a little blue

So its hard enough lately that I feel like i never see Matt anymore. Tonight, for example, he gets home around 6pm. Tonight, I have a meeting at 6:30, so I'll be rushing off just as soon as he walks in the door. I won't get home until about 9.

Lately, I've been experiencing quite a bit of "baby fever". We'd talked previously about starting our family once he'd finished his first year of school, and with the end of his first year rapidly approaching, the baby fever just keeps getting stronger. I'm so unbelievably ready to start a family with him, and I'd been waiting for hell, an hour alone with him to talk to him about it again, see where we stand.

He just reconnected with an old friend from HS (a girl I know for a fact he was head over heels for...) and they've been chatting about what they've been up to, spouses, family, etc, and he told her that we are waiting to start our family until he's finished with school. I won't lie - my heart hurts a little after hearing that. I feel like every time we get closer to the previously discussed dates ("a couple years after the wedding", "perhaps this Christmas" - that was 2 years ago - , "maybe next summer", "after I finish a year of school"), it just gets pushed farther and farther away. I KNOW he wants to have children, so that's not the issue, I just don't know how many more times I can handle it being pushed away. Being a mother is one of the things I want MOST in my life. I've never been particularly career-minded, power suits and pumps, business lunches and bringing work home with me. I just want to be a Mom, you know? I want to raise a family, take care of our home, etc. Stupid, I'm sure, but that's the way it is.

We moved out here so he could work towards realizing his dream. When do I get to realize mine?

Monday, March 23, 2009

home alone. at last!

Its Monday afternoon, so that means I'm home from work, and Matt's off to class for the rest of the day. Today, my brother started his new job, and his friend is out doing...whatever. Don't care :)

I have the house ALLLLLLL to myself. For at least the next couple hours, anyway. I think I'm going to curl up on MY couch and watch a mindless chick-flick until I fall asleep. Just as I was dozing off last night, Friend decided to take a shower and shave. I was startled awake from that barely-asleep-mode, hearing the rush of water in the sink, then TAPTAPTAPTAP - the razor on the counter, for five minutes. At 11:30pm. Come ON. New house rule...if you need to shower and shave on Sunday, do it before I go to bed! It took me an hour to fall back to sleep :(

On another note, about a month ago, I was invited to be a mark. Trendspotter for the next 6 months. I'll have a chance to see goodies in advance, and I'm super excited about it. One of the things the mark. staff in NYC wanted of us was to try Twitter, to see if it might be something worth looking into, so, can find me on Twitter as "isabella09".

Don't get too excited. I don't text, and I'm not online nearly as much as I used to be, so I have nothing to say :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I have no interesting title to put here.

So today it was discussed that Matt and I would be paid $400 to cover "rent" for my brother and his friend for the rest of March and probably ALL of April. My brother was just offered the plush hotel job and likely starts next week. His friend is still jobless, but hopefully, that will change soon. End of April is their deadline, and while I'm fine with the decision, the end of April seems a looong way away...

In other news, I just learned that I made Honor Society - my huge sales goal that I'd set for myself this time last year! I'm super excited, but its kept me busy these last few weeks, which is why I've been away from the blog.

I've been helping Matt with his next film too, scouting locations, making contacts, planning for the makeup I'll be using on set.

And as a result, I'm exhausted.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


"We just need to shower and crash for a few hours, we've been driving all night"

Was what I heard when my brother called me on Wednesday, 90 minutes away from my apartment. Today is Saturday. No jobs, no money, and nothing to do but whine at each other, like an old married couple, about having no jobs and no money; and no end in sight.

My brother had a job interview that I helped him score yesterday, and it looks pretty positive, but even still, it doesn't pay instantly, and they'll need money to put down a deposit on any apartment to rent, so I'm stuck here wondering when I'll be able to do the rest of my work in my office, not on my husband's laptop. When I'll be able to curl up on the couch with the books I want to read...though I'll admit, sitting on the couch with two Thirtysomething guys and their acoustic guitars, watching America's Next Top Model together was pretty damn funny...

On Saturday mornings, Matt and I like to just laze around for a while, but Matt works Saturdays now, because of his crazy school schedule. I couldn't sleep last night without the aid of AdvilPM, so you can imagine my surprise at 8am, when I woke up, bleary eyed and wishing I lived in a cave, not on the sun - it was so bright. Instead of making coffee and waking up at my PC for a while, I fed the cat, then curled back up in bed with an old episode of Saved By The Bell and the laptop, until I just couldn't sit there anymore. I couldn't go into the living room (Alan snoring on the couch), I couldn't go to my office (friend of Alan's crashed on the floor), and I didn't want to just sit in my PJ's in the dining room. I felt trapped in my master bedroom. Was I? No. I could certainly have just gone about my business, but I can't do that.

I got up and then spent the next two hours cleaning. Litter boxes. Putting the roll of TP on the guest bathroom roller (seriously. you can't put the paper ON the roll? the paper we provided you when you ran out and didn't tell anyone so you put the kleenex box in there instead? Two days go by and I have to replace the roll? Sheesh). Dishes for 4 adults. Cleaning the living room. Sweeping the floor. Dusting for no real reason other than it was something to do.

How do you say "um, how long do you guys intend to stay here, anyway?", without pissing anyone off? If it was just my brother, I'd have no problem with it. With three of us in a 2 bedroom, it wasn't a big deal. Now there are four of us, and its a little crowded.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Oh my the boredom.

Last night I got a call from my brother, who had been in Colorado since the end of Jan, then in Vegas for the last two weeks. He wanted to check my schedule so I could potentially pick him up from a bus station on Thursday. Fine and dandy.

I get a call this morning.

"We're in Wickenburg, we'll be there in 90 minutes"


So much for a nice, quiet, romantic night ALONE on our anniversary.

Currently, I am parked on my patio (it is GORGEOUS today!) while Alan is passed out on the couch and his friend is crashed on the floor in the guest room. They've been asleep since noon-ish. Matt's at school for another hour. No idea how this affects our Anniversary plans (which only included sharing dinner and wine at home tonight...but I can tell you it did NOT include my big brother...)

I'm bored. Alone. Can't watch TV. Can't screw around with a game on the computer in the office. Blech.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


I'm excited - tomorrow, Matt and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary! I can't believe its been four years already! It goes by so quickly, yet at the same time, I feel like we've been together forever.

Last Friday, the morning conversation at Curves turned to husbands and the idiotic things they do. I chimed in with a particularly decent one from just the night before, and one of the ladies asks "how long have you been married?" When I replied "it will be four years next week", all 8 of them groaned, balked, scoffed. "You're just a baby!" one said. "HA! I bet you still enjoy each other's company!" said another.

And that last comment got me thinking today. Of course we still enjoy each other's company. Isn't that the point? Was I supposed to choose a man who I can't stand to be around? Wasn't I supposed to pick a man that I love without question, who loves me just as much. Someone I find fascinating, interesting, fun, adorable, etc etc etc?

I don't think of us as "newlyweds" anymore, even if, by comparison, we are. I'm not so naive to think that life will always be rosy - Matt and I have had our share when it comes to marital issues. But I happen to think that he and I are totally meant for each other, and always have been.

So there. Happy Almost Anniversary Matt!

(and if you'd like, feel free to read our proposal story here:

Friday, February 27, 2009

I need a coffee.

or a Red Bull. Or a Vivarin.

But not all three. I don't want to end up like Jessie Spano, all whacked out on speed, singing "I'M SO EXCIIITED!" at the top of my lungs.

But really. I need a caffinated pick-me-up. And then maybe later I'll have the energy to post about the ridiculous Facebook-related "event" that happened on Sunday.

But in the meantime, I need to go get changed, because we're going out to dinner with Josh and Jessica tonight, pretty much as soon as I pick up Matt from work.

So. About that Red Bull....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Buttons is feeling better

Thankfully! This past weekend was really rough. Matt was a super sweetie on Valentine's Day, especially after my snotty, sobby mess on Friday at the vet. He went to work early and came home with a pretty bouquet for me. We took Buttons back to the vet and learned (easy, thankfully) how to give her sub-Q fluids, and she took to it well. We had a REALLY nice dinner out at Sam's Cafe, our favorite. The extra nice - it didn't break the bank. We'd bought a $25 gift certificate at when the certificates were 80% off! After our gift certificate, we each got a tasty entree, I got a cup of my favorite soup and we shared THE most amazing Chocolate Truffle Pie, for $20 before the tip! SCORE!

I was still pretty worried about B though, because she wasn't eating much, and between Friday night and Monday morning, had only eaten about a tablespoon of food, and spent more time than usual sleeping. Monday morning I had to be at work at 5:30am. While I was there, Matt mixed up the prescription food she hates with the canned stuff she DOES like, and got her eating more. Since then, we've found an even better food to mix it with, and she's really perked up. By Wednesday, her eyes were bright and clearer again (well, as clear as they're going to be with a 20 year old cat who has mild cataracts). She was demanding food again, loudly, which I didn't mind one bit. She even came out of her closet-cave to lay in the sunshine for a little while. The vet on Saturday reassured me that I don't have to say goodbye to her soon. While I know I won't have her forever, and she probably doesn't have 4-5 years left, we could, realistically, have her for another year, and that was nice to hear.

Matt and I have been trying to keep up with Oscar movies this year. We always try to, and fail, for some reason. This year's offerings have been stuff we really wanted to see, though, which made it easy. Tonight, we went out to see Revolutionary Road, which was very emotional, but very good. I could have done without the THREE groups of Seniors (and I mean 55+, not HS...) who would NOT SHUT UP. Within the first five minutes, one woman's cell rang THREE TIMES, and the third time, she answered it. And rather than whisper "I'm at the movies, I'll call you back", she got up from our row, went down to the floor level and acted as if perhaps there, nobody would notice her having a 2 minute phone conversation...It was really irritating, but we tried to ignore it and were able to enjoy the movie anyway.

We've also seen Slumdog Millionaire, which I HIGHLY recommend. We rented Vicky Christina Barcelona and The Visitor, both of which were ALSO excellent, and I would make them priorities to see. The Changeling arrived in our mailbox today, too.

Tomorrow's a busy day. Lots of Avon deliveries to make, and I work in the evening. Business is picking up though, which makes me very happy. My Dad's excited about business going well. My grandmother, who passed away just before New Years, sold Avon back when my father was growing up, so I think he's just glad to see that, after all these years, Grace and I wound up having at least this in common.

I'm off to bed, goodnight!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day. Or not.

Yesterday was awful. We got the car taken care of, fine and dandy. More than I wanted to spend total, but it needed the 30,000 mile tune up and new front brakes. Whatever. Then we took Buttons to the vet. Buttons is in Renal Failure (the vet said "Chronic", if that means anything). She's severely dehydrated, has an enlarged thyroid and probably diabetic, but they're going to try again today to get a urine sample to get more info. When they tried yesterday, she peed all over the vet tech. Oops. Sorry Vanessa the vet tech!

They wanted her to come back early this AM and spend all day on IV fluids, but on top of what was covered from her insurance, yesterday alone cost $160 and it would have cost at least another $250, and they were talking about coming back once or TWICE weekly for blood work to see how the treatments were doing. I have an oral liquid to give her 3x a day, she's on special prescription food specially for the renal system.

Its funny. They looked at her and initially said "well, she's got the enlarged thyroid, but this, this and this look fine, so for her age, she actually looks really great". When they brought the blood work back, the doctor's face was pale and sad, and she said "Well. Buttons is in renal failure. I'm so, SO sorry". I guess she hides it well, like any woman would :)

Nothing will fix her. She's 20. But they want to try and make her as comfortable as possible. I was a WRECK. I called my mom from the Petsmart bathroom SOBBING, because I didn't know what to do. If she's 20, but needs all this treatment and I can't pay for it, what do I do? I felt like I was waiting for the vet to tell me that she needed to be put down, but she's not at that point yet. I hated myself for thinking first with my wallet, and not my heart.

So this afternoon, we take her back; instead of all day IV fluids, the vet is going to teach us how to give her fluids under the skin, and hopefully, we can get that urine sample so we know more about where we stand.

On top of all of this, I'm absolutely LIVID with her previous vet. We took her in with the EXACT same concerns just last summer, and the records the vet faxed over even show our concerns, but her prognosis then was "VERY GOOD". I'm sorry, but a 20 year old cat who is missing teeth, peeing in the wrong place, clumping furn (all signs of kidney failure, according to yesterdays' vet) is not "VERY GOOD". We never even got to MEET that vet, they forced us to do a drop off appointment, and when we picked her up, they said "she looks great". I asked "what about the concerns I had? Do we need to speak to the doctor?" and the jerk said "no, she's just old". Thanks, Captain Obvious. I intend to contact Banfield Corporate and complain about THAT location, and then give absolutely GLOWING praise for yesterday, who were simply amazing, given the situation, and the fact that my cat peed on a tech...

So that's that. I'm sitting here on Buttons watch today. Matt's at work for another couple hours, then its back to Petsmart. I THINK we're still going to try and go out for a Valentine's dinner, but we'll see.

I hope you all are having a better V-Day!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

my blah blog

I'm boring. I know.

I still have a cold. I'm working more (and as of next week, I work the 5:30 AM to 11am shift. YUCK), and really, I just have nothing to say :(

Saturday, February 7, 2009

i have a cold.

and it sucks. Actually, it sucked on Friday, when I felt the worst. I'm starting to recover, but its a slow process, not at all helped by the weird Neti pot everyone kept recommending (um, good for prevention, perhaps, but I can't expect the solution to flow in or out of my nose when I'm so congested it seemed to hit a dam and flow right back out....lovely visual, yes?)

Also sucks - taking a decongestant on Thursday night that makes me wake up at 7:00 on the button on Friday morning, still feeling sick. Sorta worked out to my benefit, I suppose, because even after napping for 30 minutes, I was able to go to bed by 10:30pm, since I had to be up at FIVE AM on Saturday, so I could take Matt to work and then get to Curves by 7am for my own shift.

And yet here I sit, at midnight, wide awake. Well. Mostly. I took a nighttime medicine about an hour ago, hoping it would knock me out. Its starting to kick in (yay! double yay for it being Children's Dimetapp that still tastes good AND works better than nasty Nyquil!)

ooh. a yawn. I'm going to get in bed before I get a 14th wind....

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


My Jury Group # was released. I don't have to go!

Monday, February 2, 2009


Last month I got a Jury Summons notice. Boooo. Here in AZ, rather than just have you show up and wait around all day to see IF you'll be called, they let you call in the night before (hey, thanks for giving me lots of planning time..) to see if you need to report.

The first 10 groups - not mine - have to report at 11am.

MY group? Yeah. I have to call back at 11am to see if I need to come in. Really? So you're going to pay me 45 cents a mile, from my home zip that I can drive an EXTRA 30 miles round trip to take my husband to work first so that I have the car just in case you call me, and if you DO, then I have to drive the half hour downtown and hopefully get out in time so my husband doesn't have to stand around in the parking lot for 2 hours.

Where's the form for the extra mileage for how totally screwed up this is?

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Date Night!

Friday morning my brother flew up to Colorado to help my uncle. Having the house to ourselves for the next month or so, Matt asked me out on a date :)

We went to dinner at Abuelo's (tasty!), then to a movie, and if you haven't seen it yet, PLEASE go see Slumdog Millionaire. SO good, really. We had a great time, enjoying each other's company, and I listened to a VERY long, very ridiculous work story. I swear, State Farm is so like high school, it's not funny.

Matt starts school again this week. Thankfully, his classes are only on Monday and Wednesday, and by the end of the month, he'll actually have Wednesday's off from work (LONG school day, but at least we can sleep in together!). I'm trying to completely rearrange my work schedule to coordinate, but its not looking good, and I may be cut down to 7 hours a week, and I'm actually considering a second job somewhere within walking distance. Thankfully, Avon has kept me pretty busy. I'm THISCLOSE to reaching the goal I'd set for myself last April, and already, I've broken all previous records for personal sales, so I'm very pleased (and rewarded myself tonight with my very own MP3 player. Its pink and SO cute, and I got it for half of the list price!) This means I won't have to steal Matt's when I want some music on my walks to F&E, which are becoming more frequent.

I've rediscovered a love for working out, and have been doing really well. I haven't lost more than 1/2lb just yet, but the fitted tee I wore today felt a lot less fitted in the arm and shoulder. Now, if I could just fight off this cold so I don't lose sll of my momentum!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Things That Happen When My Brother Is Around

I have my entire upper body wrapped in toilet paper, mummy-style.

I leave a lounge in Old Town with a large bottle of vodka under my butt. (it was paid for, hush up!)

I bake more, and am talked into ice cream sodas or walking to DQ (which is a bit counterproductive to my weight loss efforts. Eh, I figure the walk to GET dessert cancels out the dessert itself, yes?)

I stay up too late.

I have someone to watch Top Chef with.

I turn around in my kitchen after setting down a hot cake pan, and suddenly find my entire face and head covered in whipped cream.

I'm constantly told "c'mon. we'll all go out. I'll drive home, you and Matt have as many drinks as you want".

I run out of eggs at an alarming rate.

I've started to say "dude" and "awesome" a lot more.

I find myself saying "Boys! Dinner's almost ready. Can someone set the table?"

My sink is always full of dishes (from Mr. "I reuses glasses all the time")

Partnering with my husband, I am forced to relinquish control of my wheelchair and am taken around my kitchen in the fashion of "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride", laughing so hard I can't speak.

Never a dull moment...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Random stuff, really. A few days worth of posts crammed into one LONG one.

Its just after Midnight on Thursday (Friday? I agree with Matt, its not tomorrow until I've gone to sleep). This time last week, we were still in Old Town Scottsdale. Sponge, the fabulous band from Detroit (and good friends of ours!) was in town playing a free show, and they were probably just wrapping up their set. We spent the next couple hours hanging out in the VIP booth at ACME with the band, nibbling snacks (seriously. Best chicken fingers I've ever had, how weird is that?), watching some of the most...unusual dance moves I've ever seen, drinking and laughing and having a good time. Matt and I came home around 3am and went right to bed, since of course, Matt had to be at work at 7:45am. My brother Alan intended to get a ride home, somehow, as he was the sober one to drive everyone back to their respective hotels and homes.

Fast forward to 9:30am. Alan calls and tells me that he has no idea where in Phoenix he is, that he has no way home and that basically, the last person he dropped off didn't know how to get him home to Scottsdale, let him crash on the couch for an hour, then shooed him out so she could go to work, leaving him stranded. Oh, and asked for gas money. Right. So my penniless brother who isn't even FROM here is now trying to walk from nearly downtown Phx to the middle of Scottsdale. Matt calls and tells me that he's taking a half day, and I tell him that he has to pick up Alan on his way home. Ridiculous. Once home, the three of us did a whole lot of nothing on next to no sleep. Saturday and Sunday were pretty typical. I worked Saturday morning, then we ran errands all afternoon.

Matt, in preparation for the Phoenix Comic-Con this weekend, decided to finish reorganizing his comic book collection tonight. Halfway through, he discovers a hole - and a number of teeny bugs - on a box and the shelf. The box next to it no longer had a bottom. Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Ew times a zillion. He and Alan spent the next hour pulling all the comic boxes out, cleaning up what was left on the shelf, wiping it down with ammonia, and sorting through the comics in those two boxes, one by one, to determine the damage (only 4 comiccasualties to report, in case you care). It appeared to be some sort of fluke, something in between the two boxes, whatever it was hadn't gone any farther out than those two boxes, but you know I'll be putting a call in to pest control. Again, as they were just here last week as we found a friggen SCORPION the week before. Ew ew ew ew ew.

Matt's prepping for his second semester of school. I'm trying to work with my boss to completely rearrange my entire work schedule so he can get to class, and I get to work around stupid JURY duty on the 3rd. Thrillsville. In SA, if you had Jury Duty, you were there pretty much all day. If you were lucky, they called your group early and hopefully sent you home. Here in Phoenix, I get to go downtown (where I've never been) and I don't have a CLUE where. I won't even find out WHEN I have to be there until I call a phone number after 5pm the day before I have to show up. Thanks for being convenient. Let me just tell you how easy THAT will be to work around 2 work schedules, a school schedule and one car.

If I can remember the rest of the random stuff that happened earlier this week, I suppose I'll just have to post it tomorrow, for I seem to have forgotten it all at the moment..

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I've been tagged!

8 TV Shows I watch:
1. How I Met Your Mother
2. Fringe
3. 24
5. Top Chef
6. The Biggest Loser
7. American Idol
8. America's Next Top Model (oh hush. its my one girly reality thing)

8 Restaurants I love:
1. Cantina Laredo
2. Jacala's (back in SA)
3. Taco Cabana (back in SA)
4. Freebirds (back in SA)
5. J Alexanders
6. Canyon Cafe/Sam's Cafe
7. Macaroni Grill
8. Wildflower Bakery

8 Things that Happened Today
(or yesterday in my case since it's only 9am)
1. did 40 minutes of strength training
2. walked to Fresh and Easy
3. baked chocolate chip shortbread
4. made a last minute decision to get Chicago dogs for dinner instead
5. talked to my mom
6. sorted an Avon order
7. watched Fringe and 24
8. read a chapter in my book

8 Things I look forward to:
1. the end of the day...I hate Wednesdays
2. that maybe it will get cold again here
3. being a mom
4. Seeing a movie Matt wrote at Sundance someday
5. Game Night this weekend
6. our 4th anniversary
7. reaching Honor Society with Avon
8. Matt's graduation from Film School

8 Things I wish for:
1. Reaching Honor Society with Avon
2. That Matt doesn't get burned out with working full time and going to school
3. a bigger kitchen
4. a magic kitchen so that I might cook lots of yummy amazing treats and not gain weight
5. but that the people I don't like might gain it instead ;)
6. a million dollars
7. student loan companies to magically lose all of their records and decide they can't collect anymore
8. Social Security to decide that that error they made in regards to the FIRST error they made wasn't actually an error and to fix it all the first time.

8 Songs I just listened to: (I won't count the craptastic music we've got in our changer at Curves right now)
1. Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire
2. Hoarse - Crown
3. They Might Be Giants - Particle Man
4. Boston - More Than A Feelin
5. Led Zeppelin - All Of My Love
6. Good Charlotte - Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous
7. Green Day - American Idiot
8. Sponge - Party Til We Drop

8 Favorite Movies:
1. Love Actually
2. The Holiday
3. The Goonies
4. Singin' In The Rain
5. Bells of Saint Mary's
6. Most of the Harry Potter movies
7. You've Got Mail
8. Swingers

Tag 8 people for this meme:

Yeah, I'll get to that later ;)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

New Years Resolutions

I don't set them. Do you?

I'm probably in the minority, evidenced by how busy we've been at Curves and all of the new members that join every January (and I don't need all 10 fingers to tell you how many actually stick with it past Valentine's Day)

So far, the 2 weeks of 2009 have just kept me a busy bee. Busy at Curves. Busy with Avon. Busy with family (spending LOTS of time on the phone with my Dad since my grandma died.) Busy helping Matt prep for school. I'd like to change my vote please. I'd like to make a resolution to not be so BUSY! Busy keeping the apartment clean. Busy working out. Busy trying some of the most amazing new recipes, like Soy Ginger Chicken, Chile Rellenos Casserole, Chicken Biscuit Pot Pie, Almost Tempura Chicken Strips..

Too bad this isn't a food blog, right? ;)