I look outside my window. . .

and I wonder, "is it raining? its so gray outside"

Nope. That's called "dusk". Its what happens in the evening when the sun goes down, and that's what I get for hardly looking outside today. *sigh*. I almost wish I had a reason to go to Fresh and Easy, at least I'd have gotten out of the house!

Today I had a surprise visit from my friend Kylee. Kylee needed to escape her office for a little while, and I was either a safe haven...or just the closest person to her office. Kylee brought donuts, so we sat and shared them and visited and gossiped and giggled. It was nice. I certainly enjoyed the company, as I don't get to see my friends nearly as often as I would like. Tomorrow, I'll get to see a handful of them (and babies too!) as we get together to celebrate nothing special.


I spent today writing a letter for my mom, sorting about $800 worth of cosmetics, and NOT enjoying my lunch, a prepared turkey dinner from Fresh and Easy (so they DO have things I don't like there, imagine that!) . I just emailed M at work, asking him all of the details of his day - the things I normally get to ask him at 5:30pm. "How was your day", "what's for dinner", etc. I miss that, and between me rushing off to work on the days he doesn't have class, and him being wiped out on the days he does, I feel like I don't get to ask those mundane, every day, boring, but important questions. We did have a nice weekend though. A little work, a little play ;) and not much else.

Tonight, I plan to make myself either cheese tortellini with sun dried tomato basil sauce...or a baked sweet potato with black beans and cheese. I can't decide, and I'd better soon, because I didn't finish much of my yucky lunch, I'm hungry, and there are still donuts on the table. . .

For the record....

the closet light was on when I came home from work on Saturday, when we came home from running errands on Sunday and when I came home from work last night.

Either the cats are turning it on, or M thinks we have a boogeyman. Maybe I'll just remove the switch ;)

I'd rather be in bed...

A family emergency called my boss back home, so here I am this Saturday morning. 8:40 AM and I've already been here for nearly 2 hours. I'd much rather be at home, likely still asleep, curled up with M, but there will be time for that later ;)

Last night we went out for dinner early, well, early for us (we were done before 8pm, normally we haven't decided what we want by then!) Even though I knew I had to get up early today, I would have liked to have done something else after dinner, but M didn't seem too interested, so back home we went. The thrill of my evening came before dinner, when I slipped into a pair of jeans one size smaller than the ones I just bought. Yay! Maybe walking to Fresh & Easy, even if I do come home with dessert, once a week is doing more good than I thought! M didn't really say much or seem to share at all in my excitement, a bit of a let down I thought. I would have been happy with a "great job baby!" or something, but oh well.

Today's plans include. . . oh, probably nothing. We have to return some stuff we bought last week, so I might do my best to keep us out of the house for the day. When we're at home, it just settles in to M on the couch at the TV and me in the office on the computer, and its mostly because I'm bored with TV and find the couch rather uncomfortable (I can't WAIT to replace it with this: http://tinyurl.com/3s36v2 - and hell its on sale this weekend too! Rats!)

Beyond that, I'll probably try and help M with his homework. Anyone have a fresh idea for a random movie poster they want to share?

Lights Out...

Yesterday, M and I got a bonus day together, which was nice . . . and would have been nicer had most of the day not been spent at the dentist : ( But we made the best of it. After a moderately painful (both on the mouth and on the wallet) morning at the dentist, we went home and relaxed for a bit, and then went out for lunch. We’d planned to try a local Mexican place, but the whole shopping center is under construction, and though the restaurant is still open, there’s almost no way to get to building, so around the corner to Olive Garden we went. The conversation and company was nice, I otherwise would have been eating leftovers at home, alone. The dentist, unfortunately, had to have M come back for part of his appointment in the afternoon. The good of this is that instead of taking just the morning off, it meant that he took the whole day off instead, yay!! So after lunch, M dropped me off at home and went back out, and I fell asleep on the couch watching an episode of The Smurfs. Once back at home, we had about an hour to chill out before I had to go to work, for all of 90 minutes.

Here’s my random rant for the day. When I left, the only thing lighting up the apartment was the glow from our television. When I came home, nearly every light in the house was on. Living room, dining room, kitchen, bathrooms, the closet, the bedroom, the laundry room and the hallway, all lit up. M had been working in the kitchen, so there’s one I can justify, and three more (hallway, laundry room and guest bath), as he was sorting the laundry. But I find it hilarious that any time he’s home, the master bedroom, bathroom and closet light are on. Anyone else experience this?

We did have a nice evening though. We made dinner together, cheese tortellini with lots of fresh veggies, and then caught up on Heroes and Fringe, before we both passed out for the night. Today, I’m on my own again. M’s workday is a short one, but he has class until he would normally get home from work anyway.

9-24-08

Last year, my husband M and I moved a few thousand miles from home to a new city. The middle of nowhere. Ok, metro Phoenix. Ok FINE. Suburbs of Scottsdale. Here in the ‘burbs, I live alone with my husband. M has a full time job and recently went back to school, so I find myself spending a lot more time alone lately – more than I’ve had in the past eight years. I feel so proud of M for taking such a big, brave new step, though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit lonely. “Unsingle”. Married, and yet alone.

M and I mostly see each other from Friday afternoon to Sunday night, with a bit of time together – albeit sleepy – on Wednesdays when we carpool. Oh sure, I have a part time job, so I get out of the house when I can, what his schedule and my body will allow, given my own limitations, but again, I do spend most of my days in a quiet house, with the cats (one of whom may be plotting our imminent death as this moment. . .)

So what does “Unsingle” mean to me? It means spending way too much of my morning on Facebook. It means watching old sitcoms at lunchtime, lollygagging to the shower after a workout, and rushing off to work the moment M gets home with the car. It means a late dinner when I get home, 20 minutes of TV before bed, lather, rinse, repeat. On school nights (a phrase I didn’t figure I’d utter until my mid-thirties), it means eating dinners alone, waiting for M to come home at 10pm, 20 minutes of TV before bed, lather rinse, repeat. And our sex life? It’s a weekend social event for the two of us. Weekdays are just too exhausting, unless you’re me, bored out of my head for 90% of the week, anxious for social contact, struggling to fall asleep – consequently the only time I REALLY get to spend in bed, next to the man I married.

But it’s not all bad. On the plus side, my dinner’s alone mean making whatever the hell I want to eat. It means walking to the corner market to pick up the freshest goodies for said dinner…and maybe a tasty dessert to indulge in, all by my lonesome (because there’s nothing more pathetic than a chubby girl eating a slice of cheesecake alone, or is there?) It means watching my ONE guilty pleasure, America’s Next Top Model (what? Oh hush.), without the ridicule, or feeling as if I’ve exiled M to the office. It means leaving the seat down, the lights off, and the kitchen tidy. It means having time to myself to write my meandering thoughts, perhaps a new, weekly chronicle of being “Unsingle”…